Week Two of Writers Anonymous

A digital detox update (and why I cried about my dad)

I’m at my second week of Writers Anonymous—a group where we write in silence for two hours, with a much-loved coffee break in between. It’s bliss.

So, checking in from last week…

Inspired by The DOSE Effect by neuroscientist TJ Power, I’ve been experimenting with his suggestions of ways to boost my “healthy, happy, motivation chemicals”:
Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins.
(If you missed the first post, you can catch up [here].)

Here’s what I’ve been trying:

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1. Notifications—off. Completely.

I’ve silenced my phone. No buzzes, no pings—and yes, those addictive little red badges are gone. This has definitely freed up brain space and emotional space.

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2. Mornings outdoors before screen time

Each morning, before touching my phone, I step outside. I breathe in the cool air and watch the birds visiting our garden. They’re regulars now. This is probably my favorite new habit.

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3. A daily gratitude list

Most mornings I’ve managed to jot down what I’m thankful for. It really shifts your perspective. I’ve also started splashing cold water on my face first thing. (Invigorating. Highly recommend.)

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4. Telling my dad I appreciate him

This one hit me hard.

I called him up:

“Dad, want to come over for a coffee? There’s something I want to talk about.”

He always says yes. We ended up driving out to look at a local building project, then grabbed a coffee.

My dad’s not always the easiest person to get along with—who is? (Including myself here!) But when he’s in a good mood (which is often), he’s full of stories. Thick Swiss accent, tales of mountains and cheese-making at the ready.

Later, I messaged him:

“Thanks so much for coming over, darling. It means so much to always have your support. I love you.”

Simple. But a huge wave of sadness hit me at the thought of losing him one day. I will miss him so much. Even writing this, I well up.

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5. Saying yes to connection

I said yes to two invites I might have skipped. One was after a long day—it’s winter here in New Zealand, and I was already tucked in bed with a hot water bottle. But my friend called, and ten minutes later, I was at her place, chatting about dating, love, and all the messy good stuff.

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6. Making my bed

Tiny habit, big dopamine win. I feel calmer. More productive. More grounded.

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7. What about social media?

Still off it. Still glad. This one’s big—just staying off my phone makes a noticeable difference.

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…The sneaky one? ChatGPT.

It’s not social media, but it can be just as distracting. It feels productive—but often it’s not. It’s also bad for the environment, with all the water and power required to run it. And it can be frustrating—appearing super useful, especially when I end up down a prompt rabbit hole with far too many choices.

Even the Notes tab here on Substack gives me pause. I find myself cringing at it a little—like I do with Facebook or Instagram. It’s enticing, but it feels like teetering on the edge of a cliff. Alluring… but often leads to scrolling, swiping, and the inevitable comparisons. It doesn’t always leave me feeling great.

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So… has any of this worked?

Honestly, yes. I feel clearer. More connected. Less scrambled.
Not perfect. But better. Definitely more motivated, more positive.

I’ll keep going—and keep checking in.

If you're trying your own digital detox or swapping phone time for something in real life, let me know. I’d love to hear how you’re going.

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P.S. If you’re keen to join a weekly writing session (online, silent, low-key), reply below or direct message me. I’m thinking of starting one right here.

P.P.S. Thanks for reading Boldly Go – Stories from the Edges with Karen Abplanalp.
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